Whatever type of loss you’ve suffered, there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. But by understanding the stages and types of grief, you can find healthier ways to cope.
But what is grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It is emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away, often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight.These normal reactions to loss – and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.Here are a few examples of losses that may cause grief: death of a loved one, loss of a job, divorce or separation, retirement, loss of health, a miscarriage and even the loss of a friendship.How you grief depends on many factors,including your personality and coping style,your life experiences, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you. Inevitably,the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried and there is no “normal “timetable for grieving. Whatever your grief experiences, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.
Here are a few myths that are often associated with grief:
- The pain will go away fast if you ignore it.Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run.
- It’s important to “be strong “in the face of loss. Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak. Showing your true feelings can help you get the help and support to cope and heal.
- Grieving should last about a year. There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person.
- Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss. Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss – but that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you.
While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain,come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life. Here are a few tips to help you through this process;- Acknowledge your pain- Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions- Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you- Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically. Recognize the difference between grief and depression.
There are five stages of grief. They are:
- Denial: “This can’t be happening to me “. “It cannot be true “
- Anger: “why is this happening? Who is to blame?
- Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ………. “
- Depression: “I am too sad to do anything. “
- Acceptance: “I am at peace with what happen. “If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may help to know that your reaction is natural and that you’ll heal in time. However, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages – and that’s okay. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal.
Taking care of yourself as you grieve
When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Here are a few reminders in the process of taking care of yourself: Face your feelings, don’t suppress it, Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Even if you’re not able to talk about your loss with others, it can help to write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Look after your physical health –eat well, get good sleep and exercise. Try to maintain your hobbies and interests.
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